I’ve been saying YES to everything recently (although it’s a firm YES MA’AM in my head). My life is in a most definite period of change. By saying YES to every thing that came along, I thought I was taking control of the chaotic mirage of; forms, questions, responsibilities and moving dates that were all on their way.
I haven’t written a blog in a while, which wasn’t something I’d planned on doing. It just sort of happened. Despite my huge desire to plan everything down to the last detail, life doesn’t often oblige with those post-it note dreams. I took some time from my own yoga practice, from my godforsaken emails and writing. I needed that time to check myself (before I wrecked myself).
Christmas was a warm hue of reading, relaxing and eating. I felt rejuvenated. Days after a thoroughly civilised New Year, I noticed everyone making big statements about their year before, or what was going to come. It made me realise how much everyone is constantly judging where their at, where their going, what they perceived to have happened which was important to them. We’re all living our own little dramas. Life is a cycle of problems, once you solve one, your mind finds something else to worry about (someone once said).
What are my problems? Saying yes all the time, not wanting to let people down, piling things on to to-do lists and then actually doing them, looking for more…the list goes on. All of our lists go on. Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Stereotypically, I took stock and reevaluated my life, whether that was because; another year had passed, I’d mentally reached the age of some milestone I thought would be occurring, or I just slowed down enough to think about my actions.
I’m taking a big leap, one which I do not doubt. I’m moving continents and in some ways starting again. I had to decide to give myself the time to do that in the right way. By setting a date to pass on my classes, by actually sitting and planning a party and getting slowly back to my own practice.
I’ve stopped saying YES to everything, but I’m saying YES to the right things. A firm, resounding and heartfelt YES. The first time I said NO to taking on a yoga class was like a revelation to me, I’d been constantly building, but now my foundations were full. Saying NO to that gave me the power to say NO to other things and to reflect on what I want, not something I do too often.
When I met Nick I took a deep inhale, and my exhale has carried me to unexpected and wonderful places. I’m glad I said YES to him, to moving, to a party, to a job and to my future. I’ve had to say NO to some things to get to my big YES.
Do you find it hard to say no? Where is that big yes taking you?
Helen – WAP