When I completed my Yoga teacher training, I felt like I’d finally found and followed my path. I looked at life through a hopeful and courageous eye, so everything I saw was full of hope and opportunity. Everything felt light and correct as long as I was on my new path. I surrounded myself in the safety of my Yoga bubble, which I talked about here. Once I got home I found myself being sucked into my usual routine and thought pattern. I was seeing the word through challenging eyes, I felt as though starting my Yoga dream would be a challenge and found it hard to get momentum. I find such comfort in coming home, but I regress when I’m at home, to not seeing the world as offering new opportunities, as though it’s all already been discovered, so I jumped on a train, and literally changed the direction I was headed in. While running away isn’t a solution, I needed a fresh space to devote my time solely to my goal. Maybe I ran away but this time it was purposeful, I got a feeling and I’m glad I followed through with it.
When I was travelling after university, my travelling didn’t always feel very purposeful. While I was in a new country on my own, I saw everything with an adventurous eye, the most simple of days would leave me feeling satisfied, and I said yes to every opportunity. When I got back from travelling, I saw everything through depressive eyes, everything was a little duller and less satisfying, I could barely muster the strength to go out and experience the world. While living with my boyfriend, I saw the world through a pure loving eye, and I’ve never experienced so much love in return from the world around me, it made me feel energised and full of life. The only thing which was different was the way I was seeing the world. Going to Croatia to get qualified as a Yoga instructor, I went with an open curious eye, and I learnt more than I’ve learnt so far in this lifetime, it was like someone finally verbalised things I’d always thought, but never known how to articulate.
Now I’ve moved up to Edinburgh, and getting things started here again, I would like to say I saw things through a Yoga eye, all I was seeing was Yoga, which was wonderful. What was the intention? Was it love, greed, envy? I know Yoga makes me feel love and light, yet the moment you turn your passion into a ‘business’, you tie money, responsibility and other people’s expectations to your passion, a terrifying fact of life. It’s fair to say I was seeing things through a fearful eye to begin with, scared of not finding the right place, of people not showing up to my class, of not being enough for those who did. Seeing so many people already sharing Yoga was inspiring, intimidating and uplifting all at the same time. My fearful eye in some ways helped me propel myself into it all. I’ve proven to myself that I can follow my passion and do it my way, without comparison, competition or greed.
I’ve learnt that the way you see the world really shapes what happens, what you give in, so you get out. When I’m feeling and seeing things in a loving, light, curious way, amazing energy gets poured back to me. When I’m feeling and seeing things in a blue, envious or greedy way, the world sort of looks the other way, at the same time tripping me up as I cross the street. Once you notice how much your state of mind changes what occurs in your life, you’ll start bringing that loving eye to the table. A fearful eye may have started me out on my venture, everyday I remind myself to see through that loving, trusting eye that I know and love, and wait for the world to come through for me. I’m firmly placing my roots in Edinburgh for the moment, and I’ll be keeping the way I see the world in check.
Next week I’ll be back living with my extra loving eye producing boyfriend, I’m so thankful the loving eye I know that it will give me, in being the kind, honest and open person I want to be.
How do you see the world? How is that shaping your reality?